Illinois and back again

My mom: (re: the iHop in Batavia, IL) You should have been here last week, there was a camera crew filming here. Our little iHop is gonna be in a movie!
My brother: (screams) Batman?!


(After talking to middle-aged guy about Sci-Fi for two minutes)
Guy: You don't meet many girls who like sci-fi. Here, let me give you my card. If you ever want to watch sci-fi together.
Me: I think I’m a bit young for you.
Guy: How old are you?
Me: Twenty-four. *waves hand* These are not the droids you’re looking for.

I am recently back from Batavia, IL, where my mother and brother live.
Epic picspam incoming, potentially nomming your internets.

Another trip to Sarasota-Bradenton Airport. It has wireless internet and I've been known to camp out at the Starbucks there. Not this time though as I was knitting my Stewardess scarf at the gate.

Window outside the plane in Sarasota. We just managed to miss some pretty crap weather, but look at that sky before it started to storm.

The flight from FL to IL was at night and I was struggling to stay awake. Until I rediscovered my love for Angry Birds.

I got to see my ex-dog again, Hunter. Best dog in the world. He bowled me over when he saw me and I actualy messed my back up pretty good when I was smashed into a large ceramic flowerpot that was on the ground.

We played Tripoley on Saturday.

My uncle Jim had the worst luck by far so he grabbed Hannah for good luck.

It didn't help.
Left: my uncle's loot.
Right: my aunt's loot.
Aunt Peg killed us all. Midway through the game my mother and my aunt switched seats because we thought her seat was lucky. It didn't work and Peg won the big pot of coins in the end.

I am ashamed to say I ran out of coins first and having Lu on my team didn't help.

Sunday morning we wanted to take a bunch of pictures together so I was testing out my timer function. My brother is such a goof, he would mess the picture up right before the timer went off.



My brother is known for his epic ability to photobomb a perfectly normal picture. Here are the best ones from our photoshoot:

I call this one "Vincent needs an exorcism."

Making fun of me for being short.

Immaeatchoo.

Haha, I have no caption for this one.

Or this one, loling. Way to ruin a great picture vin!

Troll.

My favorite restaurant at Midway International Airport in Chicago.
Tasty sammiches and they proudly brew Starbucks.

The flight from IL to FL seemed much faster than FL to IL because it was day-time. I knit the whole time and my seat-mate was bumped to business class so I had the whole row to myself.

I have no shame, and hit starbucks soon as I got to Sarasota's airport again.

And a banana bread.

Iced tall white mocha. Breakfast of champions and people who don't want to sleep.

Beautiful day in Sarasota.

Doctor Who started up again with the second half of season 32 today. The episode was called Let's Kill Hitler.
The Doctor: "Crop circles to get my attention? Seriously?"
Rory: "Well, you never answer your phone..."


"I was on my way to this gay-gypsy-bar mitzvah-for-the-disabled when I suddenly thought, 'Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish, I think I'll kill the Führer.' Who's with me?!"
Ahaha. I don't really like River Song but that line was perfect for her character.


I would like just like to mention that I only had starbucks once, when I got back to Sarasota. I didn't get one every time I saw a starbucks. If that were the case, I would never sleep.


Current song:
"Tattoos" by Jackpot. This song makes me want to rob a bank then drive my getaway car off a cliff.

Joyce H: You wanna take this medication with 8 oz. of a clear liquid. Gatorade, water, tea--
Patient: SCOTCH! YOU CAN SEE THROUGH SCOTCH!

(On faking the moon landing)
Sarah: If you buy a laser pointer you can shine it on the Moon and see the reflector dish that the Apollo astronauts left up there.
Joyce J: You can do that with a regular old laser pointer?
Sarah: No, a thousand-dollar one.
Joyce J: Yeah, no thanks. I'll stick to my theory that it was filmed in Arizona.

I struck gold last Thursday when I was getting into my car after work. I've never been so happy to have a camera than at this moment. This picture doesn't even need a caption. Suffice to say there is no Irish or Scottish restaurant nearby. Well, McDonald's.

No, really? This does not an allergy make.
My office likes to keep bringing up the person who wrote "Epinephrine - it makes my heart beat faster" as an allergy.

Unholy, yummy pizza.

Melted butter, cinnamon and Sugar on a tortilla. 350 for 9 minutes.

I've become addicted to knitting lace.

I still have 450 yards of gray left because I keep ripping out what I knit. I am currently working on two at the moment.
This one is "Stewardess". It's quite nice and very easy to memorize but the problem is that it's knit in stockinette which means there is a "pretty" (knit) side but also an "ugly" (purl) side.

And this is "Sleeping Beauty" by Arlene, a German knitter who is my lace guru. I love checking her store on Ravelry.com and seeing she has a new pattern published. However it's crazy difficult, as most of hers are (she was the one who wrote that leaf pattern that I gave up on). How the hell do you even design something as complicated as this?
I had to restart this six times because I kept &%$#ing up and I wanted to ragequit but since I spent a few bucks on it I wanted to at least get through ONE pattern repeat.

My problem was that I am better at reading knitted instructions than following a chart, and this pattern is 100% chart with no words. I had to google "how to read a knitting chart" to figure out what I was doing wrong.

Unlike "Stewardess", this pattern is knit in garter, which means it's "knit" on both sides (has no ugly side), which is good for a scarf.


Have I mentioned I can't wait for it to be cold again?

Is it safe?

I have recently returned from the dentist for my 6 month routine cleaning thing.

24 years of oral hygiene: 1
Cavities: 0
(C'mon, cavities, are you even trying?!)

I brought a new project with me to the dentist hoping for 10 minutes to knit (I, unlike most people, love to wait in waiting rooms.) I love to knit in public and the opportunity doesn't present itself often. I love the "but you're so young!" Luckily they were running late and I got 30 minutes to knit.

Thankfully the waiting room was empty so nobody saw me take a picture.

See even Russell Crowe knits. (PS you're doing it wrong Russell.)

When the Dentist paid me a visit after the general cleaning we chatted about stuff. Eventually the conversation turned to what we've been doing recently. I told him a goal of mine was to get a something published in a knitting magazine. He told me his life's goal was to have a cocktail named after him. This is why my dentist is awesome.

He recommended I get my molars re-sealed. Since I have no recollection of ever getting them sealed the first time, I asked him what was involved. I think he was concerned that I thought there was pain involved (when in reality it was 3pm and I hadn't had lunch yet and wanted to know how long it took), so he jokes and says "It's TORTUROUS." "So I'll be Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man?" "Exactly."

I also have a (really lame) gift for Sarah (yes you Sarah) that I stole from the dentist.

I went to Olive Garden (since Joanna's crafty place was right there... PS they don't carry lace yarn) and I got me some chicken alfredo and salad+breadsticks.

And of course, I knit while waiting for the order. I was hunched over the table in the darkness of the bar waiting for my carry-out order, trying to read the lace pattern with the same zeal as if I was working on the Manhattan Project.

Thankfully the woman at the bar was on her way to drunk so nobody saw me take a picture.

On the way home the planet earth was suddenly hit with an epidemic of people driving too slow in my lane. (35 in a 40? Look at your life. Look at your choices.)

In summation, with the perfect storm of A) no lunch by 4pm B) my favorite olive garden dinner C) new sealants on all 4 molars = It feels strange eat so I gave up for now :-( fah

I took this image from CrazyAuntPurl's blog. I desperately want this pattern.

I had been working on this lacy leafy pattern (its visually gorgeous but hurts my brain to knit it.)

But I ripped that out in favor of the Olive Garden Dentist project:

Rubbish picture but you get the idea.

News from the Month of Sarah

Leslie: I had taken my contacts out and put them in a glass of water. And my friend drank them.

Me: Oh hey Joyce, I saw you on the corner on my lunch break when it was raining.
Sarah: I didn't think we'd see you on the corner unless it was a Friday night.
Joyce J: Now you know how I paid for my car.

Overheard at Drive-Thru
Drive-Thru Employee: Can I take your order?
Smartass in Honda: I dunno, can you?
(Silence.)

WHAT IS THAT I DON'T EVEN...
I was working on this bundle of fun when I realized I massively screwed up sometime in the previous few rows.
I blame the shuttle program. And NASA.

I did some MacGuyvering with the knitting rules since there was no way I could fix it by ripping it out and redoing it. This pattern has too many KBLs and YOs and other acronyms to rip it out and try to re-knit. I took some green yarn from the end of the ball and sewed the offending sections into place so they would at least blend in. Not perfect but you can't really notice it anymore.
But I will. Forever.
In the words of CrazyAuntPurl: "I’m so sorry my babies I DONE YOU WRONG."

The transition between lacework and ribbing required some light (well I say light...) cable work. It's annoying enough to make mistakes with two needles but then you add a third one into the disaster zone. Cable work is my seventh circle of knitting hell. It's slow-going, constantly checking and rechecking the pattern to make sure I wasn't shifting stitches.

I finally finished it this afternoon. Now I just have to sew up the arm holes.

It's a bit wider than I wanted and not the right yarn type but since I just grabbed something from my stash I don't really mind.
That blue light in the first picture there doesn't mean I'm a cyborg. Those are my wireless headphones that I'm rarely without.

Classic from Sarah.

Now that it's summertime in Florida the afternoons more often than not are overcast and rainy. Back when I was at UF doing summer sessions we used to purposely plan our classes so we'd be finished by 3pm. Cause like clockwork, it would begin to rain at 3pm.
PS: it’s a red light.

Jurassic Park is on TV right now.

Today's recipe: meatloaf!
Om nom nom.

Onion, green pepper, ground beef, 1c. ketchup, a handful of breadcrumbs.

Bake at 350F for about 50 minutes, pouring the fat off every 15-20 minutes.

Koi Pond app for iPhone is like stupid entertaining.

With 20 minutes left, mix up brown sugar and ketchup. Spoon this on top and put it back in the oven for the remaining time.

Make up some more of that glaze and set aside to top it once it's done cooking.

A bottle of A&W Root Beer and some Cheesecake for dessert. Absolutely fantasticals.

Also, I don't think I have enough of this yarn to finish my project. I have one ball left which won't take me very far.

Oh well, carry on.


The Lord of the Rings trilogy is on TNT at the moment and since I've been complaining lately of wanting to watch it, that works out perfectly.

I love internet memes.

Progress as of Thursday night. 3" of K2P2 ribbing before the lacework starts: check.

First row of lacework.

After the first row of lace the pattern calls to switch to 10.5 needles.

8 on the left, 10.5 on the right.
This Knitpicks Options Interchangable needles set was over $70 but worth every penny. See how sharp they are? They're referred to as stiletto needles. They are also nickel-coated, meaning they are very slippery. Great for speed, since stitches can slip off easier, but terrible for accuracy, since stitches can slip off easier.

I wonder if I could board a plane with them even though knitting needles are on the list of approved items.

Knitting: it works.

Now I've got something like 18" of lacework to churn through.


Now for something completely different.

So last Friday a homeless man decided to make our bathroom his personal spa. FOR OVER AN HOUR after we were closed for business. Monica (my counterpart in the office upstairs) and I barricaded ourselves in the downstairs waiting room with the door locked. I knocked on the bathroom door 3x to ask him if he was okay, and each time he said he was about ready to leave. Meanwhile he's singing with his little radio. FOR OVER AN HOUR. I'm all calling Sarah (who lives 1,000 miles away) and Leslie (who was at the IRS), Monica's all calling her people and we were about 10 minutes away from calling the coppers. (I have an aunt and uncle who works for the PD). After he left, his clothes (and an ice cream cone, for some reason) were in the garbage.

Also, I'm employee of the month.

Anyway this post bores me so now I will eat a salad with some Olive Garden italian dressing and listen to Kazuhiko Inoue sing to me. His voice is pudding. (See Sarah, I said I'd make it catch on) even though I have no idea what the hell he's saying.

Though I can say "where is the bank" in Japanese.

Hasn't been useful yet.